I have issues with motivation.  Like, serious issues.  I have made myself a plan – every morning I’ll get up, I’ll put on whatever clothes I find first and I’ll go for a quick walk.  Because it clears my head, lets me think straight and it’s what motivated people do to get motivated.

The thing is I’ve been sat here, wearing the first clothes I found, trainers on, for about an hour.  I haven’t made it out the door yet.  I’ve made lists.  I’ve thought about what I’m going to eat when I get back.  I’ve started writing this.  But I haven’t left the house.

Do other people have this struggle?  Is this normal?  I have a constant battle going on in my head – one of me wants to lie on the sofa all day every day being all down in the dumps.  The other me wants to reach 10,000 steps a day on my Fitbit, exercise daily, get blog posts up every week, plan my dinners…do my tax return before January 30th next year… you get the picture.

Hang on.  I’m bloody going.  (I just changed that to ‘bloody’ from something else because I’m classy and I need to remember that.  You’re welcome.)  It’s 11am, Monday 22nd May and I AM LEAVING THIS HOUSE TO GO AND WALK FOR 20 MINUTES GODDAMMIT.  BRB.

Ok I did it.  I’m back now, eating my overnight oats in celebration.  I used the Oh She Glows recipe and oh my God they are good.  I’m traumatised still from stodgy cold oat disasters from my Slimming World days *shudder* so these were an utter delight.  I topped with strawberries because I’m a strawberry fiend right now.

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Anyway, sigh, I should have done the walk ages ago.  It’s a beautiful day – 22 degrees and everyone’s gardens look so pretty.  I do this all the time.  Procrastinate for hours and put off the thing that will actually motivate me to get on with what I want to get on with.  I make myself stay in a bad mood for hours and hours when all I need to do is a quick walk or a workout and all of a sudden life is fabulous again.  Honestly, I lose hours of my day staring into space thinking about all the things I could do and what to do, whilst telling myself how unrealistic I am and how I’ll never achieve those things because I’m not good enough.  (Yes, that’s a healthy relationship with my inner self right there.)

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So I’m just going to carry on trying – trying to get out for my walks in the mornings and basically trying to be kinder to myself and maybe believe in myself a little bit more.  I’ve got so many goals, some of which I don’t think I’ve ever even whispered out loud because I think they are so unattainable.  So I’m going to write a few down, right here, right now, for the world to see (the whole wide world reads my blog..) in the hope that if they are written down maybe they will be easier to visualise and, one day, realise.

  • I want to run a marathon next year – any time, I don’t care, I just want to finish
  • I want to post on my blog weekly with things people can hopefully relate to
  • I want to move my business out of my home and into a professional kitchen (I have run The Chocolate Hut for 6 years now and this is my full time job)
  • I want to write a recipe book
  • I want to write a fiction book
  • I want to redecorate a lot of my home
  • I want to do a course in nutrition

If you have any tips on motivation or self-belief please feel free to share!

Hopefully, I’ll be back next week, all motivated and stuff.  Maybe I’ll even take a peek at my accounts and tax return this afternoon, 8 months early..!  Enjoy the sunshine 🙂

Nic X

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